Teere aishe dube gelam (Drowned just near the shore)

When everything comes easy in life, you can never appreciate its value. Its only when its coming in hard that you understand its importance and most importantly your weaknesses.

V.V.VIKRAM- 25 years old- very short of becoming an MBA. I was not really born with a silver spoon, no way as i still have huge outstanding amounts on my credit cards which i used too religiously. But now if i look back at life, I have never really faced dire situations which have made me question my potential. I got into my engineering college easily, i got a job at satyam computer services in the first go. I loved my job...it was just perfect for me and of course i did manage to get a decent enough percentile without really putting in an effort to get into a B-School. I did not face many dejections. But yes, to be honest i was always a little scared of things coming too easy, so at least i did not let it get into my head. I knew that one day, like all things get evened out, my luck would not be as good anymore. Somehow i do feel that 2008 has been the year of realisation for me. Not many great things have happened. In fact the year for me personally did start on a pretty bad note.

The ending too seems similar. I have faced many rejections today. My placement process has started and hahaha and thanks to the crisis, i am not yet placed. I have faced two close rejections on day zero. I did not make it into ICICI and HCL. HCL was really bad as i came too close to getting a job. I felt dejected and i should be but then i also felt good that at least i have seen what it feels like. Now i am sure i will be more positive and less nervous about the negative outcomes of life.

I feel much more confident today. I feel that i will be more of myself in the next interview than projecting someone whos desperate to get a job. I will be more relaxed for sure after this. I know that what happens after this will only be super duper.

MY POEM ASKS ME

When you put me into words,
Do you end up saying what you wanted to?
When you explain your state of mind through me,
Do you convey what you wanted to?
This is what my poem asked me.

When you paint the world dark through me,
Do you actually go through a lot of pain?
When you blame the world for all that pain,
What do you lose and what is it that you gain?
This is what my poem asked me.

When you show me around to all your friends,
What do they say? do they like me?
What happens to me if i dont come out well,
Do you get rid of me or do you hide me?
This is what my poem asked me.

After years go by and you read me again,
Do you laugh at me or do you cry?
After reading me again do you sit and wonder,
As to why i sounded sad and dry?
This is what my poem asked me.

V.V.Vikram

WHO KNOWS

Hmm.....donn dwell too much into why i wrote this one.....some wounds just take a wee bit too long to heal....and thts when you tend to question urself too much....so just read on....

so many things i remember,
so many things i just cannot forget,
all like a picture framed in my mind,
how do i let go off these memories,
how do i appease my heart?
who knows?

so many words unspoken still,
waiting to be heard by you,
will you ever hear them?
who knows?

there are questions unanswered,
i know it and so do you,
why the silence between us then?
who knows?

there is a sadness inside my heart,
a pretension of happiness everytime,
will it ever subside?
who knows?

i regretted every moment i hated you,
i still love you the way i did before,
do you feel the same?
who knows?

so many times i miss you,
so many times i cry,
everytime i try to live,
everytime i die,
will you ever come back?
who knows?


V.V.VIKRAM