Q&A: The Good, The Bad and The Neutral

One normal day and three thought provoking questions. All from different spheres of life. Thinking about the answers, honestly took me a long time.

Question 1: (Scene- 10 am , having coffee with my 88 years old grand ma and so sleepy that I was least prepared for a serious conversation )
I was sipping hot filter coffee and cursing the American government for not stopping Israel from bombing Palestine. My grandma suddenly heard me muttering abuses when she said, “ You are an MBA now, so tell me now that India is slated to become the next superpower , will we also behave the same 4 decades down the lane and if not, then why do you think we will not?”

I was shaken up from my deep slumber and did not know what to say. I could have given her a random answer but i wanted to think because the question was interesting and tricky, but I said I would want to think about it and answer.

Question 2: (Scene- 5 pm, sitting next to the most intelligent and vociferous girl, lets call her C, I could ever come across in my life. I was always prepared for the most twisted conversations with C but this one caught me by surprise)
I was watching out of the car window at a decorated vehicle with a “Just Married” sign on it. Suddenly C tells me that 80% of married girls are shit scared and paranoid and worried when they sit in that car and are off to the groom’s house. The drive in the decorated vehicle is like passing though a graveyard after midnight. Then she was telling me as to how things have deteriorated with more money. The Question was – “Will you allow the girl’s family to pay entirely for the marriage as per custom or will you share the marriage costs 50-50 as its your marriage as well?” . My reaction as always was,” how the F#$%$ does she think about so hatke”.

Well again I never gave away the answer immediately and told her that I needed to think because this again was tricky and practical.

Question 3: (Scene- 9 pm, catching up with friends, we finally started discussing our favourite topics- G.I.R.L.S and we were always disappointed with the Indian girls. Few pegs down we decided that today’s Indian girls were the most confused species on this earth)
My friend K is going through a very tough typical phase in his life. He had had a break up with his girlfriend and was so used to her that he felt terribly lonely. He needed a friend (and just a friend mind you)and somehow he realised that girls specially were very difficult to approach. His question was clichéd and yet it of all 3 questions was the most difficult to answer,” Why are Indian girls so cautious about guys around and why do they never open up easily? Why do they always believe that guys always look for love and not friendship?”

A real toughie and not because its a 2 in 1 question but because girls are labyrinthine creatures.

When I think of it, I can tell you that the one thing common across the questions is the Indian culture. Sadly enough what unites us all today is also in a way the reason for the many problems that arise in the country.India is facing the typical problems that a developing nation faces when it is on its way to become a developed one. I hate the word “superpower” because I believe that it portrays arrogance and India could become anything but it can never be arrogant. When we reach there, and I am sure in another 3 decades we will be there, we will be ahead of the other developed nations only because of our culture and value system. We will be big but will never let others know about it. We will be rich but will also give at the same time. We will be unstoppable and yet we will never forget the friends on the way. So the answer to my Grandma’s question is that we will be a superpower, but one with a difference.

When I started to think about C’s question I realised the relevance of it. Why should the girl’s side bear all the costs of the marriage? After all it is the guy who is getting married as well. We tend to hide behind norms and customs and take advantage of them. We let impractical customs continue because they have been happening from olden times. The father of the girl saves and saves and blows it up for his daughter’s marriage to end up, at times, without a pie for the family post-marriage. What about the guy who is earning big bucks in the US of A sitting in the plush office in silicon valley. He is probably earning more than what the FIL can save. Is he not to contribute to his own marriage? The answer to your question C, is “ Thank you, you opened my eyes. Yes i will contribute 50-50. I have an ego and it is my marriage as well”.

Girls!!! Phew!!!. Complex creatures man. Yet they are quite stuck up I feel in the culture of today. Men have always had the advantage of well being men. Never stopped. Never questioned. Girls are opening up today and yet they are stuck in between cultural shifts and their emotions. Their outlook is guided by parental pressures, holdups and their desires. Men are no less but girls seek attention and yet don’t allow guys beyond a certain limit of their range. Girls are not safe no longer in Independent India. They cannot roam around like guys beyond a time, they are not encouraged to study. Improve the conditions and girls will change for good. I respect them and I don’t mean to sound like an MCP. I believe that they are cautious more because of external factors than internal ones.