Of Modern Traditions!!!

In India, there is sometimes a trade-off bewteen tradions and practicality. These trade-offs can cost a lot at times.There is Anger and frustration at the end of it. Is it worth it?

Indian traditions have always been a binding factor. We owe a lot to these traditions. In fact they are the core of our so called Value system. Yet, sometimes the same traditions demand too much of a person. There are two friends of mine. A Man and a woman. Well...yes they were in love with each other and were highly committed. The girl is getting older by "Indian standards" for her marriage. She goes after the guy big time and pressurises him. The guy has an older brother who is still unmarried and this guy cannot get married till his older brother does. What happens next is sadly a common story in India. The Girl gets no further extension from home and the guy cannot get married due to old traditions. Its worse than a Catch-22. They Break up.

Wish parents could understand. Wish the society could. In this case, wish the older brother was sensible and practical enough to make the guy's parents understand that it was okay for his younger brother to get married first. Wish the girl's parents could wait a little longer. But then its never an easy situation with parents always vouching for arranged marriage over love marriage in India. When its love marriage, even the most accomodating parent ceases to budge and give room for practicality.

So whats the solution? I wish I had known. When it comes to marriage,families reunite...families get bigger. You see uncles and aunts you had never seen and spoken to. Huge egos are at stake. The boy and the girl feel as if marriage is the biggest event and the sole purpose why the parents are on this earth. Rest all seems inconsequesntial.

I am a great believer in Indian traditions. I am fsacinated and am in awe of them. The reason being that every tradition has a meaning to it and every individual finds his own element in each. Yet some can change lives for worse. There has to be a point where one needs to thing from the head and not from the heart. I just hope that we the current generation think more pragmatically when required and imbibe the same into the next one.

फुटपाथ

This piece in hindi is written with a hope that one day there will be no poverty in our country anymore.

तपती धूप की बातें ना करो मुझसे,
मैंने बिताई है ज़िन्दगी सड़कों पर,
फुटपाथों पर मैंने फैलाई है झोली,
सिग्नलों पर थपथपाई मैंने हर कार की खिड्की.

भूक की बातें ना करो मुझसे,
खाली पेट सोयी हूँ दिनों तक,
नज़र रखती हूँ रोज़ उन फेके हुए निवालों पर,
बासी खाने को भी चाव से खाया है मैंने .

इज्ज़त की बातें ना करो मुझसे,
हर तरह की नज़र को देखा है मैंने,
और सबसे जान बचायी है,
हर सिक्के की अहमियत जानी है मैंने.

ज़िन्दगी की बातें ना करो मुझसे,
क्या जाना है तुमने इतना पा कर?
मरने की चाह को रोज़ दबाया है मैंने,
खुद को खुद से लड़ना सिखाया है मैंने.

दुःख की बातें ना करो मुझसे,
सब कुछ खोया है मैंने,
अब लगाव नहीं रहता किसी चीज़ से,
हर मोड़ पर सब गवाया है मैंने .


V.V.Vikram

Fly high.....and land

The most used word in the entire course of my MBA is 'External Environment'. My Prof says that unless a firm changes with the changes in the external environment, it will become obsolete. All throughout my MBA i have learnt this one thing, that adaptability is the key to success, especially for firms. I wonder though whether it applies to humans as well. Darwin says it does and is necessary. But change at what cost??

I have seen people change...entirely. New people altogether. Transformed. It frightens me at times. Its good that people change because they need to transform in order to live better and deliver better. But should the change get into your head?? Can it sweep you off your feet?? What if it changes you for life? What if you change so much that you lose your humility? What if the change starts playing with your head? What if you start looking down upon people? What if its starts making you feel that you are the best???

Then its a problem i guess. In an interview with one of the companies, the interviewer asked me as to which were those two qualities that are essential to succeed in an organisation. I replied "Humility and hardwork". He then asked me how something like humility fit in in a profession like sales. He asked me what if someone overtook me by being smart and arrogant. I said i would be happy being at the same place as i would do what i felt was right. Was it wrong to say something like it today. Are we so desperate to beat the other in our professional and personal lives? What do we want to prove by being superior over the other?

For me the most important thing is to be humble. It will always be. I cant stand people who fly off the ground never to come back. I believe that unless you stick to the soil, you will never understand what is happening around. At the same time i do understand and believe that self respect comes higher and one cannot forego of it at the cost of being humble but one cannot lose respect for others too. The greatness about a tree is just that. It is tall and yet its is deeply grounded due to its roots.

26/11

This poem is dedicated to all those men guarding the borders of this vast nation, as they protect us everyday so that we can live our lives at peace.

Tragedy struck Mumbai on 26/11,
Few ruthless men with an evil ploy,
Took control of the Taj and Oberoi,
As the world watched helpless in horror,
They played around with bullets and fire.

Many were trapped and many were slain,
These ones from across the border were indeed insane,
They killed young ones and did not spare women,
Sadly enough they called themselves men.

Men were those who went inside,
To protect their own, they lost their lives,
Men were those who lost loved ones,
And inspite of the grief, served their countrymen with pride.

The men of terror were brought down to dust,
By men who delivered, the men you could trust,
Even though it ended, there was an eerie silence,
Rage and Anger became the aftermath of violence.

Only when it ended did it really sink in,
The terror attack had instilled a fear within,
And inspite of the fear we dare to be normal today,
'We still believe in peace' is what Mumbaikars say.

Lets salute our martyrs who gave up their lives,
To keep us protected and keep India's glory alive,
Oh Men of honour!! We pray for you and your families,
We thank you, for you have given a new meaning to our lives.

V.V.Vikram

The Stranger

As he walked back into those streets,
A wave of emotions engulfed him,
Memories hit him hard,
He called out names he had once known.

The names echoed in the empty streets,
Like the apparitions introducing themselves,
The air smelt of damp soil and rusted roofs,
He looked around for those he had left.

At the end of the little road was a ruined house,
As he pushed open the half broken gate,
The creaking noise created a flutter amongst the pigeons,
Faint noises of the past rang in his ears.

He knocked on the door with anticipation,
He heard faint footsteps and the door opened,
A face known and yet unknown emerged like a ghost,
He had returned home from the chaos of the city.

V.V.Vikram

I HAVE SEEN IT ALL

I have seen it all, says she,
Within these four walls, I have seen life,
I have seen them come and go,
I have seen them struggle and succeed.

I have seen friendships blossom,
I have seen them argue,
I have seen the best of the presentations,
I have seen the worst of the lectures,

I have seen them sleep,
I have seen them coming late,
I have seen them study hard,
I have seen determination too.

I have heard the abuses,
I have heard them sing songs,
I have seen them going out early,
I have seen classes that last long.

They come and they go,
Yet I stay forever,
Witnessing miracles in the simplest ways,
I am the classroom of an Mba


V.V.VIKRAM

Q&A: The Good, The Bad and The Neutral

One normal day and three thought provoking questions. All from different spheres of life. Thinking about the answers, honestly took me a long time.

Question 1: (Scene- 10 am , having coffee with my 88 years old grand ma and so sleepy that I was least prepared for a serious conversation )
I was sipping hot filter coffee and cursing the American government for not stopping Israel from bombing Palestine. My grandma suddenly heard me muttering abuses when she said, “ You are an MBA now, so tell me now that India is slated to become the next superpower , will we also behave the same 4 decades down the lane and if not, then why do you think we will not?”

I was shaken up from my deep slumber and did not know what to say. I could have given her a random answer but i wanted to think because the question was interesting and tricky, but I said I would want to think about it and answer.

Question 2: (Scene- 5 pm, sitting next to the most intelligent and vociferous girl, lets call her C, I could ever come across in my life. I was always prepared for the most twisted conversations with C but this one caught me by surprise)
I was watching out of the car window at a decorated vehicle with a “Just Married” sign on it. Suddenly C tells me that 80% of married girls are shit scared and paranoid and worried when they sit in that car and are off to the groom’s house. The drive in the decorated vehicle is like passing though a graveyard after midnight. Then she was telling me as to how things have deteriorated with more money. The Question was – “Will you allow the girl’s family to pay entirely for the marriage as per custom or will you share the marriage costs 50-50 as its your marriage as well?” . My reaction as always was,” how the F#$%$ does she think about so hatke”.

Well again I never gave away the answer immediately and told her that I needed to think because this again was tricky and practical.

Question 3: (Scene- 9 pm, catching up with friends, we finally started discussing our favourite topics- G.I.R.L.S and we were always disappointed with the Indian girls. Few pegs down we decided that today’s Indian girls were the most confused species on this earth)
My friend K is going through a very tough typical phase in his life. He had had a break up with his girlfriend and was so used to her that he felt terribly lonely. He needed a friend (and just a friend mind you)and somehow he realised that girls specially were very difficult to approach. His question was clichéd and yet it of all 3 questions was the most difficult to answer,” Why are Indian girls so cautious about guys around and why do they never open up easily? Why do they always believe that guys always look for love and not friendship?”

A real toughie and not because its a 2 in 1 question but because girls are labyrinthine creatures.

When I think of it, I can tell you that the one thing common across the questions is the Indian culture. Sadly enough what unites us all today is also in a way the reason for the many problems that arise in the country.India is facing the typical problems that a developing nation faces when it is on its way to become a developed one. I hate the word “superpower” because I believe that it portrays arrogance and India could become anything but it can never be arrogant. When we reach there, and I am sure in another 3 decades we will be there, we will be ahead of the other developed nations only because of our culture and value system. We will be big but will never let others know about it. We will be rich but will also give at the same time. We will be unstoppable and yet we will never forget the friends on the way. So the answer to my Grandma’s question is that we will be a superpower, but one with a difference.

When I started to think about C’s question I realised the relevance of it. Why should the girl’s side bear all the costs of the marriage? After all it is the guy who is getting married as well. We tend to hide behind norms and customs and take advantage of them. We let impractical customs continue because they have been happening from olden times. The father of the girl saves and saves and blows it up for his daughter’s marriage to end up, at times, without a pie for the family post-marriage. What about the guy who is earning big bucks in the US of A sitting in the plush office in silicon valley. He is probably earning more than what the FIL can save. Is he not to contribute to his own marriage? The answer to your question C, is “ Thank you, you opened my eyes. Yes i will contribute 50-50. I have an ego and it is my marriage as well”.

Girls!!! Phew!!!. Complex creatures man. Yet they are quite stuck up I feel in the culture of today. Men have always had the advantage of well being men. Never stopped. Never questioned. Girls are opening up today and yet they are stuck in between cultural shifts and their emotions. Their outlook is guided by parental pressures, holdups and their desires. Men are no less but girls seek attention and yet don’t allow guys beyond a certain limit of their range. Girls are not safe no longer in Independent India. They cannot roam around like guys beyond a time, they are not encouraged to study. Improve the conditions and girls will change for good. I respect them and I don’t mean to sound like an MCP. I believe that they are cautious more because of external factors than internal ones.