SHAME

This story is a fictional piece entirely and is not written with any intentions to hurt anyone's sentiments. The message is simple...anger and hatred kills. People in the process of venting anger and hatred do not realise that the same could change the life of the victim drastically. It could inflict him with wounds that would remain unhealed for life.


SHAME

I

--

"Keep your mouth shut and if I get to know that you are trying to mess around, we will cut you into pieces and hang your circumcised phallus right in front of your house. Understand, you mother fucking bastard? Your clan is a bunch of unchaste pigs"

Manu, the local leader in Aligarh was listening to the profanities and was quite embarrassed. Abdul, the boy being yelled at was after all a 10 year old kid. He had seen too much though, there wasn’t an iota of doubt in that. Yet, surprisingly, he found it cruel. Guruji was trying to scare this kid who was probably himself shaken up by what he had witnessed.

"Take this son of a bitch away and keep an eye on him. Manu, meet me after you deal with this kid", he said in a loud voice just to scare the little one a wee bit more.

Manu held Abdul's hand tightly and took him out. He somehow did not want to be harsh but he knew their clan too well. They were not what they seemed. Yet this guy was just a kid and Manu could see both fear and helplessness in Abdul's eyes."You say a word boy and you die. Understand? Do not tell your friends or they die too." He handed him to the other guys and told them to take him home.

Abdul had the address written on a piece of paper which had become soggy from sweat. He was scared. He could not understand what was happening. It was just morning then and now the night had set in. What would he say to his uncle and aunt as to where he was all the while and they would be worried more so knowing what had happened to the train he had arrived in. The whole of Aligarh had been shaken up and he knew what had happened.

II

--

Manu was tired and exhausted. He had returned home after 16 hours. He had sneaked out of the house in the morning while his mom was asleep. It had been a big day for him or probably the biggest. He had won the trust of his Guruji. Guruji was the leader of the Hindu sabha in Aligarh and was one of the most respected leaders in India. He was also the mentor for the Chief Minister of the UP who was representing a party dedicated to Hindu Ideologies and ways of life. The party had faced criticism for this but the vote bank was dependent on them, the ideologies. The elections were scheduled for the next month and with dwindling popularity and anti-incumbency, Guruji was summoned by the CM.

The plan was to turn Aligarh upside down. A day that would change the lives of many. Manu had led from the front. Guruji gave him the responsibility to carry out the task and he did so with ease. Except that Abdul remained.

III

----

Abdul had eaten and was too tired to even think and yet he could not sleep. His aunty cried when she saw him. He did not utter a word and just told them that he had lost the address somewhere in the train. He wondered if he would ever be able to forget what he saw. Suddenly he felt older. He was 10 years old and yet what he saw and what he experienced was rarely what a 10 year old would see or feel.

The one face he could never forget was that of the 65 year old woman who was going home the first time after her grandson was born. She told Abdul that he had been christened "Vikas" after her late husband. He also remembered her face when she was stabbed twice and then pushed into her lower side berth seat in the train.

He remembered the old man who was coming from a village all the way to get treatment for leukemia. He was giving a last shot at life. They chopped off his fingers and legs and then stabbed him right through his heart.

And the little one he was playing with. They were a little more graceful with her. They put a hand tight on her mouth and did not let her breathe. She died in seconds.

Why did they spare him? Everyone except for him was killed on that train by the hooligans. He remembered when one of them raised his sword on him.

Manu shouted," Leave that one. It will go against the plan. Only murder the Hindus. Let this mother fucker be spared. Anyways we will kill them in hordes after tomorrow. Let’s take him away with us quietly. Let Guruji deal with him"

Abdul wondered what plan he was talking about???

IV

----

Manu still hadn’t slept. He had joined the Sabha, 5 years back as worker and today he was the leader in Aligarh. Over years he learnt about Hindutva and had developed a certain hatred toward the Green clan. He realised that Hindus were too docile and patient and the Muslims had taken advantage of it all the

while. Terrorists they were, no doubts.

The plan had gone off well. They had killed all the Hindus in the train. Now, it would only be a matter of hours when the anti-muslim sentiment would spring up and lead to the much desired riots. The CM had promised that he would keep the police forces in the state at bay when it happened. The Muslims would be butchered and the votes will go to the government. Guruji had a way to think out of the box.

V

--

The riots broke out early in the morning. It was the news flash about 8 muslim goons butchering all the hindus in a train bogie at Aligarh, that made Abdul go into a shock. He realised what had happened and why he had been spared. He knew the truth and yet he knew the consequences.

The riots lasted a week. Abdul, his uncle and aunt hid inside their room with little food and water. They would be woken up by loud door banging during midnights. Stones would be pelted and fire sticks would be thrown in. Abdul could hear women screaming, men being tortured to death. Processions were led out where all muslims where forced to go around their colonies naked shouting "hare ram, hare krishna".

The muslims too killed many Hindus. The same was done with their women and children. Abdul was aghast at what was happening. He had come to spend the summer and what he was witnessing everyday was changing his life.

2 months later....

------------------

Abdul returned to his village. He had still not told anyone what he saw on that dreadful day. He had become more silent and calm. There were nights when he would wake up with a jerk, drenched in sweat. He would question the sanity of people and the heights to which they could stoop to be in power.

The only part that he felt good about was that he had not developed a hatred for any clan because of the entire episode. Both the clans had been affected. He also thought about how some incidents change you for life and make you a little more mature.

-V.V.VIKRAM

Fly Away

Written with the thought that we today seldom care about others values and feelings and live in our own world. When time passes we realise they were important, but they are gone.

Make others feel important in life. It gives immense pleasure to see them smile.



Fly Away
----------


Gone with the wind have I somewhere,
I flutter like that thin feather,
Restless yet agile, I wander everywhere,
I will burn like a rock when I hit the land.


Will you lift me then, will you?
Or will you abandon me to myself,
I will fly away again into the skies,
Waiting for that someone to reedem himself.

Do not call me then, as this gust breathes life,
I will then only listen to the Wind gods,
I shall be blown away forever to lands unknown,
Do not call me then, as freedom would encapsulate me.

I shall then listen to noone,
And then you shall look for me,
Alas! I would be not seen anywhere,
Why did thou not look for me when I was there?

Now I would mean more to them,
In the city of windmills, where there is love,
You loved Thyself so much, you let go off me,
Now I shall be loved forever,
Do not call me now as the gust breathes life

V.V.Vikram

The Paradox called Love

There is a famous couplet of Ghalib which I adore:

Mohabbat mein nahi hai fark jeene aur marne ka,
Usi ko dekh kar jeete hain, jis kaafir pe dum nikle

It means that in love there is no difference between life and death because the person you yearn to live with is the same person you can die for.

There cannot be a bigger paradox than love. These lines in honour of that very paradox.


How does one tell as to why he feels lonely?
The one who was yours once is now someone else's,
If this is what the world is about, why is it so?
If this is the way things happen, why are they so?

Once you extended your arms and i reached out to them,
In your heart then resided my heartbeat,
If such was the proximity then why is there a distance today?

Noone has ever come out of a heartbreak,
And yet we knock the door of love again,
Why does he up there rekindle hopes when it hurts and it pains?

Whether you call it a relation of hope or that of sadness,
This relation of love is something we are born with,
When the relation is so rooted, then how come it breaks?

V.V.Vikram

CATHARSIS

Another attempt....

It’s been over a month now, but the grief has not gone. It lingers around like a small fly that tries to find ways to get back its most coveted sweet-meat. I come back from work and quickly pass by that tiny room which was planned with love and anticipation.

I called for her twice. It had become a habit, this. She would ridicule me for calling her name unconsciously so many times. I loved that infectious smile. I was missing it these days, terribly. I kept my laptop bag at the corner of my bed and walked towards the balcony. It was the balcony really that made us buy the house. We lived on the 16th floor and to be honest the world could not have been more picturesque from that balcony. We had spent almost a day and roamed around like nomads searching for that perfect swing for the balcony. We just sat there at nights talking about us and the people around. At times we just stared far away into spaces searching for images and struck unrealistic conversations, which were at times imbecile. At times we just caressed each other and ended up making love.

She sat there. Her lugs curled up and her hands folded around her legs. She was absolutely static, only to move once to fiddle with her hair and push it back behind her ears. She had not observed me nor did she sense me. I had been observing her for five minutes now. I could not even imagine what she might have been feeling all this while.

I went across and stood in front of her. I put my warm hands on her cheeks. My huge palm covering her entire cheek. She always loved it. This time though, just a wry smile acknowledging my presence.

"Did you eat?", she asked.

"Had a sandwich on my way back. I am pretty full. What about you Anjali? Please do not do this to yourself. You look famished." Such an oddity that. In the past few months she had always been eating that much extra to keep herself fit and fine.

"I am fine. Just not hungry. How was your day?"

"Hectic as usual. Calls and meetings galore. I may have to go to London next month. I want you to come along." Half way, I knew she had already turned a deaf ear. Lost again in her world, she was staring away at the sky, orange in colour, covered with grey clouds. It was as if the clouds were trying their best to cover up the mess made by the sun. The clouds moving about in all directions to cover up the patches of the orange sky.

As I stared deeper, I remembered the day when he had to leave for the conference to Los Angeles. It was my boss who had to go. He fell sick the last moment and I had to replace him as the company could not afford to lose the client. I still remember that morning when a blue taxi pulled in to pick me up. It was the last time I had seen her pregnant. I did not want to leave her. She waved and then immediately kept her hand on the womb as if telling the little one inside to wave as well.

The moment I landed I got a page saying things had gone wrong. I apologized to my boss and rushed back. It was the most awful journey of my life. I sobbed uncontrollably like a child.

She was just lying to a side. Her eyes said it all. She looked at me and cried hysterically and apologised. I just hugged her tightly grieving the loss. I felt sad for her. How much we had planned it. We had wanted it badly and quickly too. The doctors said that she had a weak uterus. The worst was yet to come. They warned that a pregnancy again would endanger both hers and the baby's life.

As I stood there, my hands still on her cheeks, I felt my thumb getting wet. She could not be consoled. I had tried it many a times but she was inconsolable. I kissed her forehead and and then kissed her cheeks. We had stayed away from each other all these days. She started sobbing uncontrollably now. I took her in my arms and hugged her tightly.

"I am sorry Siddharth. I know how much you wanted it. I failed you. I am sorry."

At that very moment, my eyes just welled up. I hugged her even tightly. I suddenly realised that I loved her so much. That one moment, I felt like a young lover who was willing to go against the world for his love.

"Anjali, lets adopt". It was something both of us had thought of but this was the moment that really made me feel that it was the right thing for her, for myself and for our future. She came out of the embrace and looked at me in the eyes. Her baby-like face all swollen up. She gave me a small peck on my lips, smiled and embraced me again.

We went back to the dining room. We had a low-lying table and we always ate sitting on the low lying cushions. The low hanging lamp giving enough light for us to come back to normal. We spoke, we laughed and went back to the balcony. I sat on the swing and she sat on my lap.

"Now that we are adopting, should we have a girl or a boy?", just hoping that she would say 'Girl'.

"We will call her Riya", she said. I smiled at her.

We caressed each other and under the clouded skies of Delhi, we made love.

When God Called....

Another attempt at writing a short story....

WHEN GOD CALLED
---------------



I was in a deep slumber, when my phone rang. It was 2.30 am and for that one moment I wished I had Iron hands which could just crush the phone into frickin pieces. I woke up stunned and looked at the ringing screen. The name that flashed was a little shocking, it said 'GOD Calling'. But because i wasnt in proper senses, i decided not to think and pick up the phone. Yet in a span of some three seconds before I picked up and said a Hello, I realised that the only name that came close was 'Lord', my Tamilian Friend Aravaind's nickname which was stored.

After a groggy and agitated 'Hello' I asked, "who is this"?

"I am god, my son", said the queer voiced person.

"So am I", I said jokingly, trying not to sound rude and also parallely getting into my database and doing a look up on all the voices my mind could recognise. The response came back in .00000000000000000000009 seconds. No results found.

"I have no clue who this is. So who is it?", the inquisitiveness meter now rising a little from zero towards 0.5.

"I am who I told you I am. The sole bearer of all in this universe. I am God himself"

What crap I thought. The mind is an amazing machine. In fact it is phenomenal. Zillion thoughts running parallely. I was visualising the start of the T.V. epic Mahabharat where a baritonic voice saying "Main...Something...hoon". Chetan Bhagat's book came to my mind. I visualised plush "heavenly" meadows. Anyways I came back to senses and decided to get to business.

"Dood I am sleepy, no patience or mind to guess or figure out, please tell me who it is", I tried putting it across very softly.

"Okay, my son I know you would not believe me but I am God and this is real".

For the first time in my life I actually pinched myself just to check that I was not dreaming. I still knew it was a prank.

Like a small kid, I asked for evidence, rather a sign that verified his authenticity.

"What about levitating you?? Would you mind if I took you off your bed??"

Uh-oh!!, what if this was for real. I looked at my roomies and they slept like they had'nt heard a thing.

"Well okay, I am not scared and all", I said a little disbelievingly and a little shaken up.

And then the unimaginable thing happened. I slowly rose like Emily Rose. And then this thought that what if her name was Emily Slept, would she have risen??

Anyways, I was above everyone now. I did not even feel anything (like chords and strings). Luckily enough i came down before my mind zonked out of nervousness.

I quickly spoke into the mouthpiece. "Okay I believe you Mr. God, but why are you here and why me?"

"Look son, off late there are too many things happening. There are these usual devotees of mine who keep praying to me, then there these irregular ones who pray to me as per convenience and now in these recessional times, their numbers have increased. I am overloaded with work. I work 24*7 these days. So i needed to share my problems with someone."

That was a weird explanation I thought to my question. It sounded more like a ten liner stolen from Bruce Almighty.

" I have a question though", I asked. "How do you decide on whose problems to solve first, now that i know you exist, how do you do it? Is ther like an algorithm or a queuing systen based on certain categories and is there a priority handling system? How do you multitask with zillions of threads running parallely?"

"So many questions and that too complicated ones. Well, there are many people to share my burden. At the moment, Jesus is handling the USA and LATAM. Allah handles the EMEA region and I along with Krishna and Nanak and Buddha handle APAC because it is highly populated. We keep switching roles".

"That is a lot of work", I said. "Less people, downsizing up there also huh??", I smirked.

"Well, we have put a few people on sabbatical. Jesus has been threatening to leave us for a while because he has been handling a geography with the highest lay-offs and he has not slept for months now. I am worried about him."


It had been 5 minutes into the conversation. I was feeling so many things at the same time but then I thought not to think too much into it as I got this feeling that early morning I would not be remembering a thing (Hoping that this guy would surely use the memory erasing torch like the one in MIB).

"So why me?", I asked

" Well, no specifics here. You are a nice person. Even though you are one of those who pray to me diligently as per convenience, I like the fact that you still say your bed time prayes and sleep at 25. Also, the fact that as long as you were in a relationship, you always prayed for her well being as well. I found it..arrgh..what is that word you people use..ahem..cute...yes I found it cute"

Now I was a little embarassed. Okay I did say my prayers still. But why cute?? That was a girly thing to say. I wondered why he said that.

"Okay, but there are many like me I am sure, so why me?"

"Why do you think so much you bloke? Just be happy that it is you.", he sounded irritated now. "The problem with you is that you think helluva lot. Be cool."

"Hey, by the way, Thanks a ton for getting me the job opportunity. I was quite not myself when I was jobless", I said thankingly.

"That is okay. But be focussed. Do not lose it. You have the potential but you have too many other things on mind". he said with wry smile that I could sense.

"Yep, I know. Do you think I am getting too desperate about this singledom??", I asked.

"You are doing fine. Its just that you think about it too much. Also, the fact that there seems to be this dilemna about arranged marriage that you have and of course your parents."

"Yep, I think so too. Hey, tell me will I get a nice girl? You know what kind I want right?",I asked, somehow sounding like an MCP.

"Yeah, yeah. Just wait and watch"

"So what about you, do you guys marry and all. I mean are you allowed to date?", I asked sarcastically.

"Well, they all come back here dont they son. So, I flirt around too a bit. But then honestly, there is not much time that I have. The IT infrastructrure gets a little slow here at times. So slow processors bundled with loads of work, makes dating a difficult task."

" It just occurred to me. Do you do this often with may people??", I asked a little inquisitively.

"Well you would be surprised but you are the first one. The lucky one I should say.By the way I really liked your work on Polaris Day. Good job. You are a very good guy, but I still have a suggestion. Try not to become a man of success, rather be a man of value. So do not strive to impress others and make an impact. Impress yourself and eventually things will fall in place."

Some gyaan. But essential one at that I thought knowing myself.

"I have this huge doubt", i said. "Is it true that everything is pre-written and stuff and that all has been decided beforehand??", I asked.

"Well that is a tricky question. It is not true. My existence is a truth. Yet, I never appear because I want life to be a journey unknown to people so that they enjoy it. I have the powers to set things straight yet I never use them as I want you all to sort things out for yourselves. Yes there are times when truth and righteousness prevail, that is when i come in but even then it is Karma in action and hey Karma is not a bitch by the way. She is the bitch and the angel. Sadly enough, because people tend to remember all the bad things always thats happened to them, she remains a bitch."

"Okay, and what about my chances of being a writer?? Would I be able to complete my book?", the best question I had asked, yet i knew what was coming, the way he was answering questions.

"Well, you need to keep writing for that. To be honest, you are not confident about that yourself. The day you really think you are ready to write a book, noone can stop you. Not even me. I think it is quite late now. I have to get back to my shift. You sleep well. Catching a bus at 7.15 aint easy kiddo"

"Yeah, it was nice meeting you though. There is so much to ask and talk about. Hey, just one last question. Do you drink??", I asked.

"Haha. Yes we all do. I love Old monk and its sad you do not get any in Chennai."

Before I could say something, the call ended. Th next morning, surprisingly I remembered everything and I looked at my roomies still sleeping. Would anyone believe me if i told them? Why should I, after all I was the special one.

-Vikram

Know myself

random questions...definite answers....know me...LOl


1. Were you named after anyone?
Not really!!A part of my name is my grandfather's (Venkata).

2. When was the last time you cried?
Well..not exactly cry, but I did get misty after watching 'The Motorcycle
Diaries'. I just Loved the movie.


3. Do you like your handwriting?
I hate my handwriting and I hate people who have a good one...LOL

4. What is your favorite lunch meat?
Chicken...anyday

5. Do you have kids?
Nope..

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
No qualms about making friends....yes I would

7. Do you use sarcasm?
Of late I have started to...age is catching up i guess.

8. Do you still have your tonsils?
No tonsils...but I have a bad congestion.

9. Would you bungee jump?
Absolutely.....Absolutely ......and Absolutely

10. What is your favorite cereal?
Cant live without rice....

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Sadly...no...m a lazy bugger

12. If you were to pick your own first name, what would it be?
Vikram...without the Venkata

13. What is your favorite ice-cream?
Vanilla...

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?
Whether they try and smile in their conversations...talks zillions about
them.

15. Red or Pink?
RED....pink is girly...and i have no qualms in saying it.

16. Whom do you miss the most?
Okay let me name my closest circle of friends today....Pavan, Vishnu,
Raghav, Meenal, Shruti and Prasenjit....these guys i miss helluva lot.

17. Do you want everyone to complete the list?
No

18. What color clothes are you wearing?
Lavender striped formal shirt and back trousers.

19. What are you listening to right now?
Few of my seniors gossiping about office timings and people...no music to
listen to in office

20. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
Dark Blue

21. Favorite smells?
Brut, Gillette Arctic blue and the smell of petrol

22. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
A female from Vodafone askin me about whether I would go for e-mailing
options on my phone...LOL

23. How do you know the person who sent this to you?
My colleague in office.

24. Favorite sports to watch?
Cricket, lawn tennis and badminton

25. Hair Color?
Black

26. Eye Color?
Black

27. Do you wear contacts?
Glasses only...

28. Favorite Foods?
Indian...Palak Paneer and Tandoori roti...with lassi

29. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings

30. Last movie you watched?
New York

31. What book are you reading right now?
That thing called love by Tuhin Sinha

32. Summer or Winter?
WINTERS

33. Hugs or Kisses?
A hug for sure...kisses still embarass me.

35. Describe your pencil cup?
Donn have one

36. Favorite Artists?
Jagjit singh,All the great Indian singers, Linkin Park, Metallica, RHCP and
System of a down

37. What kind of music are you into?
I listen to everything!!!

38. What is on your mouse pad?
Donn have a mousepad

39. What did you watch on TV last night?
Hehe...nothing cos I never switched it on...not much of a TV freak

40. Favorite Sound(s)?
The sound of the african drums.

41. Do you sing or play an instrument?
Both to a small extent...I play percussion and I sing for myself.

42. What is the farthest you’ve been from home?
I went to UK when I was a kid...

43. Do you have a special talent?
None as i know.

44. Where were you born?
In chennai.

45. Favorite piece of jewelery?
I donn like jewellery

46. How did you meet your spouse/significant other?
Well...No longer in any relationship....so hopin that someone comes along

47. Favorite Song?
Whats yours???

48. Favorite Musical Movie?
Step Up

Why Did you go??

One of my friends lost a closed one recently. This is for her. I just hope that she is back to normal soon.



There were days we were friends,
There were days you were more than that,
My eyes search for you frantically,
Now that you arent there, I need you the most,
Where have you gone leaving me all alone?

I was young when you always took me out for walks,
Holding my little hand tight, you would tell me about life,
You would tell me that I was the best thing that happened to you both,
You would pick me up and carry me home like a tiny flower ,
Tell me!! where have you gone leaving me all alone?

I remember the days when you would wait for me at nights,
You would sit up late to watch me walk in safe,
You would pry your best to know the special one of mine,
You would always push me through those tough times in life,
Why then, have you gone now leaving me all alone?


You were the first one I would call and would share everything with you,
There were moments of sadness and endless happiness too,
I remember we always took sides to get even with mom,
And you would end up pampering me for livening up the house,
Where have you gone now leaving me all alone?

Even though you are gone away , I can feel your soul around,
I know you will listen every time, I call your name aloud,
It will be the same I promise you, as you are etched within my soul,
I will still talk to you about everything that happens to me in life,
And yet I want to know, why have you gone leaving me alone?



V.V.Vikram